I have so many posts started. Posts about really interesting things like what to consider before you get a Cavalier, an update to my One Little Word of 2012, updates about Maizey, stories about walks, oh you name it I’ve started a post about it. But as you know other than Wordless Wednesday I haven’t posted since April 22.
The truth is I’ve had some negative experiences with people I know may read here and my trust is shaken. I’m having a hard time being positive about being vulnerable in blogging. Do you find blogging to be an act of vulnerability? I do. And knowing I have some people out there who are not fans of mine or the people I’m fans of has shaken me. I over-evaluate every word, questioning how it will be received and interpreted.
Training professionally has changed my attitude towards writing too. I know some of my clients read here and I feel an obligation to keep it professional. But this is a personal blog and I’m tired of feeling stifled by fear of what other trainers will read and disapprove of or how customers will perceive my experience level, or lack thereof. This has always been a place for me to collect my day to day stories and experiences. It’s not a training blog. Oh sure, back when I started writing I thought I had something to share as far as training knowledge. That’s before I realized how much I had to learn and all I didn’t know. Now I know the value of my blog is in my journey of learning and the personality of this blog has changed to just be our thoughts and experiences.
I guess this is my disclaimer post. This is not a professional trainers blog, it’s a personal blog, a personal story. I have found some wonderful friends through blogging and I miss them. I miss logging on to see your comments and thoughts and encouragements. I miss sharing those comments on your blogs.
Then this morning I read Tomatoes In Heaven, Sara’s story about DAD. Then I read Dawn’s reminders to not miss a minute of life. I never read DAD’s blog, Dad’s Tomato Garden. Now I wish I had. I’m sure I’ll be wading through the archives catching up on what I missed. I already started and you know what I found? DAD’s blog is not a smooth, fancy layout with “professional” sounding tips (all the things I pressure myself about), it’s his thoughts and musings. It was what he found useful and thought would be helpful to share. It made me smile and enjoy seeing through this 90 something, kind man’s ideas. It reminded me what I love about blogging is the exchange of ideas with people we would never otherwise cross paths with.
DAD passed away yesterday. From the Sara and Dawns’ posts and from all the lovely comments it’s clear he’ll be missed. I extend my sympathy to all those grieving his loss today. Through his blog he lives on. DAD posted over 1000 posts. That’s a beautiful record of his thoughts and ideas. I’m sure his family and friends are glad to have it.
I started blogging for what I could bring to others. I grew into blogging for me and enjoying the input of others. Now I don’t blog because of others.
I used to blog in anonymity. My family, friends and not so friendly’s didn’t read. At least I didn’t know if they read. I know they do now and instead of worrying about what everyone thinks I invite you all to come out of the woodwork and comment. If you’re a customer I’d love your feedback. If you disagree with something you read, let me know. This has always been an open forum for discussion. If you are tied down by your own negativity I sympathize, I’m hiking through my own journey with positivity vs. negativity right now.
If you think this post is wacko, that’s okay too! It is a bit funny. But I feel better after posting it and will leave you with a little nonprofessional, personal Cavalier silliness from our last load up the suitcase session:
"I give you squinchy face at this suitcase trick!"
"Can you see me?"